Breaking Beautifully
I spoke from the heart to the youth group that I am a part of last night. I shared how I have a burning "uncomfortableness" within me, that I'm not satisfied, nor am I convinced that satisfaction or comfort is a goal at all. I shared about the "struggle" that is our faith, the struggle that Jesus speaks about to "make every effort" to enter through the narrow gates into the Kingdom.
The theme of heaven having no more pain and suffering is comforting, but I continually read over and over the words of Jesus that say the present age there will be much struggle. If we aren't struggling, then we are standing still. If we are standing still we become dangerously close to being "luke warm." To focus only on the age to come is a lot like "senioritis." The condition that high school and sometimes college seniors get into of just wanting to be done, checking out early, missing the mark at the very end. This thought, in correlation with mission in the suburban context has been consuming my thoughts for the better of six months.
Students get "senioritis" when they forgo the present for the future. "The present has nothing left for me, I'm going to pass anyways so why should I try." This mindset can take any believer captive. I'm yearning for something "out of the box," un-programmed, and daily. I yearn to actually live life with people, which is difficult in a commuter culture. Spontaneity of service corporately is more difficult because it takes time to mobilize a group. To live life outside of day to day community is to miss the intimacy of life together. It is so difficult to organize mission versus being oriented by it to the point that it simply is who we are. Much like seniors, they can forget who they are because they focus on the future, which they can only alter by being in the present.
I'm not guilty of "senioritis," I'm simply guilty of being an underachieving student. That is what I confessed to a group of teenagers last night. I'm not satisfied. There is fire billowing up inside of me and I know that God is about to make some changes in my life. I know that something is about to break, and wreckage is often chaos, but I pray to be broken into something beautiful. Lord have mercy.
The theme of heaven having no more pain and suffering is comforting, but I continually read over and over the words of Jesus that say the present age there will be much struggle. If we aren't struggling, then we are standing still. If we are standing still we become dangerously close to being "luke warm." To focus only on the age to come is a lot like "senioritis." The condition that high school and sometimes college seniors get into of just wanting to be done, checking out early, missing the mark at the very end. This thought, in correlation with mission in the suburban context has been consuming my thoughts for the better of six months.
Students get "senioritis" when they forgo the present for the future. "The present has nothing left for me, I'm going to pass anyways so why should I try." This mindset can take any believer captive. I'm yearning for something "out of the box," un-programmed, and daily. I yearn to actually live life with people, which is difficult in a commuter culture. Spontaneity of service corporately is more difficult because it takes time to mobilize a group. To live life outside of day to day community is to miss the intimacy of life together. It is so difficult to organize mission versus being oriented by it to the point that it simply is who we are. Much like seniors, they can forget who they are because they focus on the future, which they can only alter by being in the present.
I'm not guilty of "senioritis," I'm simply guilty of being an underachieving student. That is what I confessed to a group of teenagers last night. I'm not satisfied. There is fire billowing up inside of me and I know that God is about to make some changes in my life. I know that something is about to break, and wreckage is often chaos, but I pray to be broken into something beautiful. Lord have mercy.
posted by Levi at
11:45 AM
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