Like a Movie...

So I came across an exercise that I've found myself taken part in. You see I have just been able to put music on my phone (mp3's). What has happened lately is that I'll be listening to music, that is my awesome 10 song playlist around the house and I had an epiphany (dripping, drenching, nasty sarcasm). I feel like I'm in a movie, living my life to a soundtrack of lifehouse, switchfoot and john mayer. It's a good soundtrack, I suggest you try it. What is the moral of this story, well, "sometimes you want to feel like you are in a movie and what better and more practical way to do that then have music playing throughout your life all of the time." There you have it, don't stop listening to the music (you see! classic cliche one liner just like a movie!) peace.

cynic or faithless?

The question I have been pondering lately is my tendency to be cynical vs. my genuine tendency to question my faith. I believe that questioning my faith ultimately helps me to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ but many people do not feel that way. I'm sure many have felt this way but I was really convicted last night in a chapel service. You see, the service was designed with people popping up all over the place reading sequentially a specific psalm. The idea was to promote unity among diversity but I'm sitting there saying, "lame." Then a man spoke up with gospel story as he led the chapel. He was a good speaker, he sounded like an enthusiastic story teller type preacher, you can picture someone now i'm sure. Once again, the people all over the sanctuary started popping up questioning the truth of the gospel and what it meant for them. They were lamenting their pain and were asking how the 'good news' gospel could speak to them. At this point I was thinking, "Lament....seriously! Finally, we are embracing lament and aren't claiming to have all of the answers for our pain!" But to my astonishment, my cynical side was in for a treat because the gospel reader was saying things like, "God is with you," and "Everything is in God's timing." AGGHH! That is the technical vocabulary term for what I felt like at that moment. "We've ruined it!," I was thinking, "Why can't we accept genuinely that pain happens and needs to be dealt with!, instead we use cliche comfort phrases without following any of them up with genuine care!" Angry. Frustrated....Lame.

You see this dichotomy was rising up within me over being cynical and accepting my faith in Christ, which I have to admit can be 'conveyed' as a cliche phrase because honestly people do not know what else to say. My frustration (cynical side) was starting to cloud over my thoughts, which I can tend to do when I'm alone in my own head, isolated for a time. To my great suprise though and where my conviction emerged was when I heard the music playing,

He is able, more than able
to accomplish what concerns me today.
He is able, more than able
to handle anything that comes my way.
He is able, more than able
to do much more than I could ever dream,
He is able, more than able
to make me what He wants me to be.

I admit I choked up; my cynicism and doubt slowly melted and I realized, "He is able, why do I doubt so much based on MY belief that I know how things work and especially how HE works." I was humbled my friends, because an affirmation of faith comes when I can admit that I do not know how God works but I know I want to be apart of what he does in me and in those around me. This simple Hymn broke me down. Side note: it was so refreshing to feel deeply moved by a hymn, changed my life. What I realized that night is that it is okay to question, because questioning does invite genuine change in the life of the believer, however, questioning is distinctly differnt than doubting and being cynical.

"Lord, thy Kingdom come, thy will be done."

Peace.

The Burnt Offering

Leviticus has always intimidated me; It is a book of old Israelite rituals. My prior misconception is that old Israelite customs cannot be relevant today, and besides, it is a lot of repitition for each and every detailed instance. However, with the understanding of Christ making the ultimate atonement, I find Leviticus very interesting in retrospec.

The beginning is about the burnt offering, the big deal of atonement in those days. The goal/purpose was to atone for sin, the Israelite's had to sacrifice big time by giving up one of the best of their flock; be it a ram, sheep, goat, etc. They sacrificed their own livelihood's in essence to make up for their sin against God. In translation of Christ becoming the ultimate sacrifice I turned my attention to the sinner - which would translate as me. I am to give with my own hands (everything required the laying of hands) my finest things when I screw up as restitution to God. I am to give up my firstfruits (they are God's anyways right). In 4:23, it states, "When he is made aware of the sin he committed, he must bring as his offering a male goat without defect." What I see this as meaning for me today (if scripture is transcendent than this has to have specific meaning), then when I am made aware of my sin I am to confess and then sacrifice; I have to own my wrong doing and give up something on my behalf. I know that Christ is the ultimate atonement but I also realize that by no way does that get me off the hook for being a responsible Christian.

The rituals continue: if a person is passive in the midst of public falsification he is responsible for that sin (5:1 - no claiming that I was not directly involved - what does this mean for social justice?). I am held accountable to those I rob, which I wouldn't say is just money but time possibly; and in light of that I owe them extra of what was originally intended (6:5). Ultimately, when refering to the burnt offering (Jesus Christ), "The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out." (6:13) The atonement is transcendent and must be continually acknowledged. To call my self a disciple (in this text an Israelite, chosen by God), I must be responsible for my actions. Responsibility is not taken atonement into my own hands because that has been done already by Christ, but it does hold me accountable to God which I cannot take lightly as I claim to be a child of God.

Creed

When you hear the word 'Creed,' what do you think of? My assumptions would be a really sweet 90's rock band in which everyone who was in the music industry trying to 'make it' tried to copycat his voice and failed miserably. But what i'm addressing is what is referred to as a symbol or sign. In class we have been discussing the Apostle's Creed. As I'm reading this I'm realizing how awesome it is and how this is a very concise statement of the Christian tradition. However, having heard the creed a few times in my life, I was never pushed to study it, It was never repetitiosly taught to me, and I feel like I have missed out. It is so basic, so foundational, so great really. Why was it established? IT was established to hoard off heresy of gnosticism. Why else? Being a christian meant more than a personal belief in Jesus Christ, it was a committment to a savior that was not subjectively interrogated by individuals but being a christian meant you believed in a savior that you had to be willing to die for at any time so you better no what you believe in. It was intense, It was punishable by death, It was bigger than self and my perceptions, limited perceptions at that. Soap box, my bad.

The apostle's creed says that Christ descended into hades. That's interesting and I had never real thought of it....because that is a big deal. Hades is a reference to the place of the dead, not the hell we hear about in revelation. It is an extremely theological assumption to say that Christ went to this place because you don't find "He descended into Hades" verbatum in the Bible. Acts 2:24 says, "24But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him." "From the dead," "the agony of death," are we supposed to just assume that Christ was hanging out alone, or did he in turn go where humans go to wait for judgment until God raised him? Or, do we jump straight from crucifixion to resurrection and forget about the inbetween, the "3" days of the entire event? I find it interesting that good ol' John Wesley's tradition "Methodists" omit this part of the creed. At what point do you have to affirm the church fathers rather than apply everything, even something as sacred as this creed to brutal subjectivity?

I do affirm the creed, I do believe in the holy catholic church of which I participate in. Your take?

Committment

What is 'Committment' in the fellowship of believers? This is a quasi-rhetorical question. In an analysis of my life I have tried to be a disciple. I try to read my bible, I try to read relevant theology books, I try to establish real relationships with people that I truly care about. I try. Next step, I fail. I asked Katie the other day, "Why do I constantly ask why I don't read the bible regularly, faithfully, skillfully - when I truly, deeply desire to do so?" "Why don't you quit asking yourself the question and just do it?," she says. To be honest this whole faithfulness/committment thing I'm dealing with really honestly makes me want to scream my lungs out. Seriously, I have been a good student, I majored with a ministry degree, I'm pursuing another as we speak, and yet, I fall short of THE ONE THING that I desperately need and desire. I don't know if anyone resonates with how I feel right now because I feel like a confused highschool/college student...well, I still am a college student but I'm and ADULT!

Can we level? I love reading the bible, studying it, disecting it, discussing it, understanding it. I write now out of frustration because I have been in one of those cliche "valleys" we speak of. Dry. Cracked. Broken. Disgusted. I write as a lament, as a vent you will to bloggerville as if anyone cared about my struggles (for any of you reading this - that was not an appeal for sympathy - I see that it could come out that way). I need Christ - Christ wants me - Faith is my strength that when I'm not following Christ to the best of my ability, but one thing I know is that his faithfulness surpasses anything I can imagine.

Broken. Alone. Distant. ....criteria that I would say attract a savior.

Just being real.

Top 5 Movies

In reference to my good friend Tank Morris, I will follow in his footsteps to name some top five lists periodically for your pure enjoyment. The first list which speaks deep into my soul is my favorite 'one liner' movies. Here it is...

-one liners-

1. Dumb and Dumber (maybe the best comedy ever made)

2. Anchorman

3. Billy Madison

4. Tommy Boy

5. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective